Con in the Drawer
by maryalicesmith
Summary: If you've ever wondered what the characters do after the actors go home.


_The Con in the Drawer_

_Part I_

"_You lost what?!!" _

"This is why I don't tell you things."

"_You know, I am beginning to really appreciate that."_

"What should I do?"

"_You'll have to tell The Suit."_

"I can't."

"_He's going to find out."_

"Not if we find it first."

"_I wonder if June will visit you in prison."_

"I am not there yet."

"_Perhaps she'll bring you Italian roast."_

"You're not helping."

"_Or is French roast a better choice for the Big House?"_

"What's this – a James Cagney movie?"

"_If this were Remington Steele…."_

"It isn't!"

"_I heard Jeff wanted a British guy…"_

"Stop babbling - just look for it!"

"_How did you even get it off?"_

"Jones took it off yesterday to change the battery and it didn't click shut when he reattached it."

"_Which you took full advantage of."_

"Yeah, so?"

"_You'll be at Rikers tomorrow if you don't find it."_

"I'll find it."

"_Can I have your apartment?"_

"Is that why you're not helping me look?"

"_Did I ever mention how much I like this view?_

"You'll have to eat breakfast alone again.

"_True, but no more FBI."_

"Doesn't matter – you're on their radar now."

"_Whose fault is that?"_

"Where were YOU last night?"

"_You think I took it?_

"No – you couldn't fence it."

"_Actually, that's not true."_

"Who would buy it?"

"_You'd be surprised."_

"Again, this is not helping…"

"_Listen, you've turned this place upside down."_

"It's gotta be here."

"_The Man could check the_…"

"Why DO you talk like that?"

"_That's what you want to discuss now?"_

"No, but someday…"

"_I have an idea."_

"I am not calling Peter."

"_Tell him it's malfunctioning."_

"He won't believe that."

"_He'll have to check it on the computer."_

"He'll see right through it."

"_He's watching the game tonight, it's the playoffs, he won't be paying attention."_

"You underestimate him."

"_What do you have to lose?"_

"Er…my freedom?"

"_So true."_

"But you're right; I am going to have to call him."

"_I really like this featherbed."_

"Forget the featherbed – I am calling."

Part II

"Sorry to bother you on a Sunday."

"_I am watching the game."_

"I just need a small favor.

"_No."_

"It'll only take a second."

"_Neal…"_

"The new battery doesn't seem to be working."

"_Of all the days…"_

"I thought you'd want to know."

"_Okay, okay."_

"Is it broadcasting?"

"_It'll take me a minute to bring the information up."_

"Sure…uh… how's the game?"

"_Don't talk, Neal."_

"Right."

"_I don't see any problem."_

"It says I am at home?"

"Yes, Neal, the signal shows you're home."

"Great!"

"Good-bye, Neal."

Part III

"Hello, Jones - watching the game?"

" _What do you want, Neal?"_

"You've gotten used to having me around, right?"

"_Not so much."_

"Is there a way to triangulate…"

"_You've lost it, haven't you?"_

"How did you know?"

"_I didn't click the latch closed on purpose."_

"Why?"

"_I wanted to be Peter's partner."_

"You did?"

"_Everything is Neal this and Neal that."_

"Er…I hadn't noticed."

"_No, you wouldn't have."_

"Well, I am sorry to hear that, but…"

"_I am really sick of Neal, Neal, Neal."_

"Yes, I can appreciate that, however..."

"_You want me to help you find it, don't you?"_

"Yes, I was hoping that you could…"

"_With you back in prison, things would go back to the way they were."_

"That's probably true, but…"

"_Do you really know what truth is, Neal?"_

"That is the eternal question for all of us, isn't it?"

"_No, Neal, just for you."_

"Okay, well, I really didn't mean to disturb you so I'll just hang-up now…"

"_You've got 'till midnight."_

"Jones, I've always thought of you as a friend."

"_And, Neal…"_

"Yes, Jones?"

"_Tell June I'd be interested in the apartment."_

"Yes, I will do that. Bye."

Part IV

"_Jones wants the apartment?"_

"No one is getting the apartment."

"_You don't think June would give it to Jones, do you?"_

"Enough about the apartment, already!"

"_June and I have developed such a rapport…"_

"If you're not going to help me find it, go home."

"_Where is my home, anyway?"_

"It's…er…you live…"

"_My point exactly."_

"Look – there's June's Pugsy!"

"_Here, here, Pugsy Puggy – what have you got in your mouth there?"_

"Pugsy Puggy"?

"_Our rapport extends to her dog as well."_

"There it is!"

"_Pugsy's had it all the time, what' d you know?"_

"Let go, pug dog."

"_It's kind of wet…"_

"I am not getting into a game of tug-o-war with you dog!"

"…_and slimy…"_

"Give it here!"

"_It looks like it was chewed up by a dog._

"It was chewed up by a dog!"

"_The Suit isn't going to be happy."_

"He'll get over it, I didn't run."

"_La-de-da."_

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"_The whole series revolves around you!"_

"It does!"

"_I don't even have an apartment…"_

"Is that my fault?"

"_The Suit would like to share top billing."_

"Again – my fault?"

_Part V_

"_What happened to it, Neal?"_

"June's pug – kinda chewed it up."

"_While it was on your ankle?"_

"Yeah, I slept right through it."

"_You expect me to believe that?_

"Unless you want Hughes coming down on Jones for not attaching it properly."

"_So – another trip off the reservation, huh?"_

"Briefly, yes."

"_Now, see here Neal…"_

"Shhhh….they're coming back!"

"_Already?"_

"It's the second season!"

"_Do I have equal billing?"_

"Peter, shhhh!"

The End


End file.
